Local Politician Regrets Honest Advertising Campaign in Light of Election Day Loss

By SOME KERNELS OF TRUTH Nov. 5, 2014

CANTONVILLE, NJ — Ray Murray is expressing regret over his honest advertising campaign in his unsuccessful run for school board president of District 3 in Cantonville, New Jersey. He has served as a member of the board since 2013 but was not elected as its president yesterday.

Murray’s campaign featured him speaking candidly to the public about his strengths and weaknesses as well as those of current board president Michael Linton, who was re-elected by a landslide.

“I’m human just like everyone else and wanted voters to know what I’m strong in and what I’ve worked on improving. For instance, I’m very organized, but I haven’t always been the most punctual in the past. I’ve resolved that issue but I knew many people, especially the board, would remember that, so I figured I’d address it myself and explain how I wouldn’t allow that to affect the start of school board meetings,” said Murray.

“As for what I said about Linton, I still stand by it. While I don’t feel Linton’s meeting agendas are as thorough as they should be, he is a skilled spokesperson for the board and gives great engaging speeches to the community. I had to admit that voters had a hard decision to make, but I guess my honest, positive approach only hurt me in the end,” Murray added.

Local residents and fellow school board members say Murray’s unconventional campaign strategy had little bearing on their decision, however.

“I didn’t even know who was running for what, so I didn’t vote. I guess I’ve been too busy binge-watching shows on Netflix!” said resident Jonathan Shore with a laugh while out shopping with his children, both of whom attend Public School 149 in the neighborhood.

One board member, who chose to remain anonymous, said, “I wanted Linton re-elected because he keeps our meetings brief and gets us out quickly. I have a lot on my plate, so that’s really the most important thing to me. I wasn’t sure Murray could do that. As they say, you know the devil you have, so I went with Linton again.”

Murray says he will not give up on his goal of becoming school board president in the future. In the meantime, he plans to spend the rest of the week removing campaign posters from his home and office as well as the surrounding neighborhood.

Note: This is another fake news article I was in the mood to write after watching Election Day coverage. 🙂 

Edit, as of November 7: As it turns out, fake stories like this one aren’t too far-fetched; today I read about a man who was elected to a school board after trying to back out and not even campaigning at all! You can read the true story here.